September 

It took a me a while to understand my worth, to finally realize that I am enough and my flaws are what make me beautiful. I set myself free the minute I acknowledged how I am worth everything good life can offer. I am not better than anyone, but I am enough, I am grateful, and I am free. -Z

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August 26

August 26, 2015 I guess at first you feel pain, then weakness, then you start feeling raging anger. 

In time all that turns into strength. And it’s so wonderful, ’cause after that you feel confident, like nothing could ever break you again. And I pray with all my heart that I could feel this power forever. 🌺 -Z

God loves you

But know this my dear, God loves us in ways we will never be able to comprehend. We often feel that sometimes life is unfair, but the truth is we’re getting the fairest treatment we could ever ask for. Whatever is unfair is in fact one hundred percent fair. Everything that has ever brought you down is just a bunch of markers that shape where you’re supposed to be going. Keep going. Keep drawing. Keep painting your beautiful canvas. -Z

being broken repairs you

It’s funny how sometimes you need things to come into your life and break you. It’s like a wake up call to be a stronger person, to aim higher in life. And to read people more clearly as opposed to being naive and emotionally immature. Not only am I proud of myself for becoming a stronger version of myself, but I never knew I could ever be this grateful. I am grateful I got broken by many circumstances that made me realize how life shouldn’t be taken so seriously, and how it’s easier to not have so many attachments. It’s kind of liberating really, being broken actually repairs and shapes who you are. And it’s wonderful. -Z

vow

August 7, 2015 This is the moment I decide. 

I decide to never look back, I vow to myself to never let things that hurt me come back and haunt me.

I have a right toward my own self to never let negativity overpower my positivity. 

I promise that I will let go of anger over things I have no control over, to see the good in every difficult situation that has ever occurred to me. 

I will be the person that I want to be, whether people like it or not. 

I will be the happy person I want to be, although I’ve been hurt, it is only a push forward. And I hope with all my heart that things change only for the better from this moment forward. -Z

August 

3:46 am. They tell me “never lose faith in what God has in store for you”. 

And I believe them. I know for sure God has amazing things coming my way, and all setbacks are just signs for better things ahead. For anyone who’s having a bad time, or going through tough changes, all I can say is this: 

It will pass. 

You will grow from it. 

Although it seems like the end of the world, it isn’t. You’re alive, you’re breathing, and you’re doing just fine. 

Have faith that Gods plan is much greater than any plan you set out for yourself. 

Let go of what hurt you, it’ll only drag you down. 

Trust yourself, trust God, trust his plan and live. -Z

Pain

We’re all in pain you know. But every one of us is enduring a different kind of pain. And it’s okay, it’s all gonna be okay one day. No one has it easy, everyone has something hard going on in their lives. Knowing that makes your pain more bearable. What eases my pain is knowing that one day this won’t hurt as much. This won’t make me angry. One day I’ll forgive myself. I’ll love myself. I’ll be everything for me. One day I will finally be enough. And that makes the pain okay. -Z 

Love

July 28, 2015You never loved me, you never adored me, you never cherished me. ‘Cause you don’t destroy the ones you love, you don’t break them, you don’t make them cry all night long wishing for strength to end things. Love pulls all your pieces back together, love is actions, it’s more than just three words, it’s so much more. Love is humiliating yourself for who you love. Love is doing everything and giving all you have just to prove that you’d be willing to give your life up for who you love. Love is feeling lucky just ’cause you’re breathing the same air as her, love is seeing her as the most beautiful girl ever created by God. Love is saying sorry to her even though you know you weren’t wrong in the first place. Love isn’t just physical. Love is never sacrificing a chance to catch a glimpse of her. Never sacrificing a chance to see her. Never putting your friends before her. Love is getting yourself in your car and drive over to her place when she’s sick. Love is so much more than three words. Love is manning up and proving why she should choose you over any other guy out there. Love is giving more when she shares parts of her soul that she chose to share with no one but you. Love is bringing her flowers just ’cause she likes damn flowers. Love is getting her her favorite chocolate every time you meet her. Love means you never make her feel 0% bad about herself. Love never dares to see the other person shed a single tear. That is love. 
Love doesn’t make fun of you. Love doesn’t lie. Love isn’t arrogant, love is humility. It’s vulnerability. Love is beautiful, but only for those who truly know who to give it. -Z

what is love? 

And it suddenly hit me, why we want love so much, why we’re so desperate to fill a whole that wasn’t even there in the first place. It’s a known fact that people will always want something they can’t or don’t have. We’re always going to crave love and attention. 

But what if love wasn’t as glamorized as it is, would you still want it? 

Would you still crave love if it wasn’t portrayed in movies the way it is, if it wasn’t like Jack and Rose, Ross and Rachel, Romeo and Juliet? Would you still want it if it wasn’t like all those songs that brag on and on about it. 

Truth is if it wasn’t talked about much, or portrayed like it was something you cannot live without, then you wouldn’t want it as much. You’d learn to live normally, without craving something you don’t need. 

And I tell myself this: God has created us all with a purpose to serve our religion, to have a voice, to give voice to the voiceless, to create a better life, to make justice a priority, to be a role model. 

There’s so much more to focus on rather than romance and love, and I know for sure that it’s overrated and not true. I know that love isn’t prince charming or Augustus Waters, love is more than that. Love is knowing your parents want nothing but the best for you. Love is being there for your friends even if you’re dealing with problems your self. Love is helping strangers. Love is giving out your last few cash to people in need. Love is giving people before you dare give to yourself. 

Love isn’t a stupid romantic comedy movie that makes all girls wish they were starred in. Love is out there in so many different disguises, but we should learn how to see it in people and in things other than having just one partner to give it to. Love is so much more. -Z

sorry I’m not sorry 

I’m pretty sure some nights you stay up regretting every time you made me cry, 

I’m pretty sure some nights you stay up late wishing you didn’t lie.  

And I’m pretty sure you blame yourself for how things went down, 

And I know for sure you’re thinking about disappearing from this town. 

I know you know I don’t like you no more, 

I know you know things changed from month number four.

You like your friends way too much, 

Your heart is something no one can touch. 

You lie and change everything you say, 

Truth is we never had a good day. 

You always made me feel so bad,

Always telling me you’re the best thing I could have. 

Your head is way too over the clouds, 

You always think you’re the best in the crowds. 

You think you’re cool but you’re so not, 

And that’s one way for your soul to rot. -Z